Winston Peters’ Accusations

CC Locus Research

CC Locus Research

G’day there. Many people will be aware of Winston Peters’ opinion piece about me in The New Zealand Herald yesterday claiming that I was in bed with the National Party, that I’m one of their stooges. Mr Peters even went as far as to say that my jowls were up the Prime Minister’s cheeks.

Let me set the record straight right now – my jowls have never been in or around the Prime Minister’s cheeks. But they’d love to be. I’ve been eyeing up those cheeks and they look like the ideal place my jowls would like to spend an extended vacation. Not just my jowls though – I’d happily place any part of my body between his sumptuous, full cheeks. In fact I’d place a foreign object there if he asked me to.

I’ve often fantasised about combining my two favourite things in the world in one sensational fantasy to end all fantasies – the Prime Minister’s cheeks and a bottle of 2008 Domaine de Sainte-Anne. Ideally the bottle of 2008 Domaine de Sainte-Anne and me would spend 25 heavenly minutes exploring the Prime Minister’s cheeks. And then we could retire after we’ve finished, pop the cork and explore the apricot, plum and chestnut flavours of the Domaine de Sainte-Anne together. No doubt there would be a hint of cocoa from the Prime Minister’s cheeks but my jowls are more than comfortable with that coupling.

Happy days. We’ll see you tomorrow.